A friend of mine posted that as her Facebook status today, and it got me thinking about posting on here more. I was actually talking her not too long before about writing blogs and falling into a trap of projecting towards an "audience" rather than writing from the gut, no matter how painful or hard to read it is.
I've been off work for a little more than a week due to a leg infection. I had been hoping to get out of New Brunswick sooner rather than later but that time off is going to put a crimp in my finances, and I worry that I'll have to spend more time here at my parents' house than I was expecting. It's kind of frustrating to be here in a place where a common question asked by someone you meet for the first time is "who're your parents?" I crave a little more anonymity than this place affords and I also crave my own space again. I felt like myself more when I was in Halifax, casually discussing my sexuality with people and having more opportunity for release. Frustration is a very, very apt word.
I did set up a profile on Plenty of Fish and some of those iPhone apps that let you find local fucking opportunities but all that really confirmed for me is the dearth of local gays and my own discomfort at just looking into an anonymous hookup. Not really the best time to do it when I'm living at home. I do sometimes think about it, though. Relationships scare the fuck out of me sometimes, especially considering the whole process I'll have to go through when I eventually come out to my parents.
I've decided on a writing project for now, borne of my frustrations living in a city with few prospects and . I've been thinking of including a trans or genderqueer side character in something I write but I don't think this is the project. Gender issues interest me, though.
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1 comments:
Great quote and so true. I really appreciate you sharing it.
Sometimes, I catch myself hesitating writing about some of the things important to me. Then I realize 1). the whole point of writing my blog in the first place is to express how I feel, and 2). the feedback more often than not is that some people appreciate what I say and acknowledge I speak the truth for them, too. Admittedly, that's always gratifying, but it by no means dictates what I choose to write about.
For me, a blog is the best opportunity for me at this point in time to have a voice in the world. I want that voice to be as authentic as possible.
Good luck with your writing project.
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