Rapture Ready

Apparently today's supposed to be the day that 3% of the world's population rises to Heaven, leaving behind the rest of us apostates, sinners and depraved souls. I guess I'm part of that other group, on account of me being a man who prefers sex with other men. I bring up the rapture because it reminded a few things about my own Christian upbringing. It wasn't quite as strict and traumatizing as some of the other stories I've heard but it did give me certain hang-ups I still haven't gotten over. I'll probably get into them in a future post.

I had a dream a few days ago where for some reason I'm back at the small town where I went to university. (I know some readers I've directed here are alumni but for the sake of keeping my identity anonymous I won't name the school.) I remember reuniting with a female friend and just felt this intimacy and closeness as well as this overall sense of relaxation around her. I can be kind of uptight and phlegmatic around even some of my closest friends but in the dream I just felt completely at ease. She knows I'm gay in real life, and is one of the people I can say gets me on a closer level than a lot of people. I had a crowd of other friends and acquaintances pop through (some queer themselves) and it just felt like a world where I wasn't holding back. Where there was no distance. Where I felt like myself for the first time in ages. It was a reminder that people do get me no mater how often I've felt the other way so often in the last few years.